wolfess
Lone Wolf
Wolf Rain
Posts: 4
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Post by wolfess on Aug 3, 2006 13:55:46 GMT -5
[x]Name: Ivy green (ivy) [x]Gender: femme [x]Age: 5 [x]Breed: timber wolf X arctic wolf [x]Alignment: virtue [x]Sin/Virtue: Temperance [x]Appearance: a reddish pelt with brown splotches, also she has a scar over her right eye from the fight she had when she was a small pup. [x]Personality: sweet, kind and virtuosos [x]Other: she always wares a silver chain necless whit an amethyst gem attached [x]History: before her death she rescued a litter of 5 from a mountion lion, the mountion lion and herself both died in the death fight. but the parents of the pups was able to find there pups.
[x]Lineage: ice blink (mother) and blazing falcon (father) both are dead and their ware abouts are unknown [x]Mate: none [x]Pack: unchosen [x]Siblings: valor-still alive = poss Cartier [x]Offspring: none [x]Other Relations: none
[x]Abilities/Powers:
.:.:.:.
Status:
[thumbsup] - [exclamationpoint] -
________________ EDIT: hows that
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Post by Memoru on Aug 3, 2006 16:41:43 GMT -5
Rejected.
You've got several spelling mistakes, and there's a few errors that should be looked over.
Her Virtue should be one of the seven heavenly virtues, listed in the Rules and Information section, not a good deed she's done.
Secondly, this is not 'heaven', nor is this an afterlife in which the wolves can 'watch over' family back on earth. Venial is no where near earth, and the wolves here don't have the slightest clue as to what's going on back on the home planet. (This makes Venial sound space-y X3)
Also, you have quite a few spelling mistakes. There's a spell check button located beneath the message-box during each post. It's not hard to use, love ^-^
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Post by Memoru on Aug 3, 2006 22:27:33 GMT -5
Still several spelling errors. Very short description of personality.
Could I also see an RP example from you?
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